Sunday, September 25, 2011

For many who know me know that I am a dreamer. I'm 17 years old and still believe in prince charming and happily ever after. As I near the end of my high school life and move closer to college the more I imagine the future. Who am I going to marry? What will he look like? When am I going to meet him? My plethora of questions go on for miles. The questions remained locked in the back of my mind as I continued on with my life, not caring about marriage. I mean I was only twelve, I didn't want to think about that at that age. Then today, coincidently, in church the questions returned ten-fold. 

We had to write down a list for our "Man to be . . . ". It was a funny title name but I wrote the list down. Many of the other girls were listing physical attributes, not caring about his character. For me, yes, you have to be attracted to the guy but . . . physical attractiveness exists through the heart. Once upon a time I had a crush. Handsome fellow he was then I saw his jerkish ways. The crush was terminated. Once a upon a time I met another guy. He was a nerd in every possible way. However he was kind and respectful. A crush was formed. 

So my list goes like this:

1.Can make me laugh: I laugh easily and I believe it is healthy for the soul.
2.Supports me in what I do: I am a shy person and sometimes become very uncertain. So to have someone who can just support me is a nice thing for me.
3.Respects his mom: I can not stand people who talk bad about their parents. Especially boys who talk crap about their mother. The way a boy treats his mother is the way he will treat a girl. With or without respect.
4.A return missionary: This is more on the religious side but one that is important to me. I want to know that he loves the church and his God.
5. Attractive spiritually: I want to see that he isn't afraid of his religion. Knows who he is and just emits kindness.
6.Love God more then me: This sounds bad . . . but one that is true. Yes he has to love me but if I had to choose between following the love of my life down a bad path to following God, I would choose God hands down. No questions about it. This proves that he is a strong in the gospel and loves and knows his Heavenly Father. It probably will never make sense to anyone but to me it is important.
8.Sense of humor: My family is disfuntional. It's true and no family can compete with ours. It's so crazy but I love it. And my husband better love it and the only way is if he has a sense of humor.
9. Strong testimony: He can't be afraid to share it. 
10. Grows stronger through trials: As I hope to be firm throughout trials I hope he is too. Yes I know sometimes we falter but in the end, hopefully we end up back on the right path.
11. Has determination/Hard worker: He may not be the brightest crayon in the box but he better have determination. I hope he never gives up and works harder to achieve what he wants to achieve.
12. Have perspective: Perspective is everything for me. I don't like first time judgements. Yes I sometimes struggle with it but it is important to see both sides of a situation.

So my list will probably grow in the future. But for right now it is the way it is. Making this list makes me excited for the future and I am willing to wait. 

Yes I have never had a boyfriend nor have I had my first kiss. Yes I want someone to care for me but the right boy hasn't come by yet. I will most likely experience heartache's in the future but not right now. I have fun with dating different people and getting to know everyone. I am still developing myself and no boy is going to stop me from becoming who I am suppose to be, who I am capable of becoming. As I hope my future man to be is remaining true and trying to become someone I can be proud of, I hope to become someone he can be proud of and love. 

This doesn't mean I'm off limits and I'm holding "X" signs up. No it just means that I am not in any rush, nor am I desperate for a guy. I know who I am and I don't need a guy to define me.

Your little asian blogger,
Sarah E. Torgerson

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