Thursday, December 1, 2011


Have you ever had one of those moments of desperateness? 

Have you ever felt like you were suffocating from the inside? The need to suck in air but it hurts to breathe? It hurts to think? 

Have you ever felt this pressure building up in your chest and it just stays there? It won't go away no matter how long you concentrate on it? 

Have you ever had your eyes start to hurt because of how much focus you are pressuring it to do? Your eyes ever just blur over when you lose focus for one moment before pushing back the liquid that built up in front of your eye?

I'm having one of those moments. 

A moment of desperateness. A moment of need. A moment of longing. A moment of a want of comfort. 

I want to be happy. And I am. But for so long I've built up these walls to keep myself safe. Then they were brought down *snaps finger* just like that. 

But now the things I've held back are running rapidly through my mind. It's tearing up my landscape full of tall, lush grass. It's causing me to over think and overreact over situations. I'm an emotional mess right now which . . . never happens. I'm always in control, I'm proud of it. But now what? I never learned to deal with these creatures of human nature. I only knew how to control them. 

So now I sit and wait. 

Listening for a voice to call out to me. 

1 comment:

  1. "I'm always in control, I'm proud of it."
    Yeah, you and me both.
    I love reading your blog.
    Call me if you ever need anything.